Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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