Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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