We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
