fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
