I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
