I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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