i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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