Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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