people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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