I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
