your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
