...so i touched it.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
