It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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