The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
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