Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
