May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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