Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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