I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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