i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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