I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
