How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Randomize
