Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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