I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
