i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize