I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
