Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
