I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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