Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
