Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
