He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
