I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize