I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
