One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
