Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
