My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
