how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize