a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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