I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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