so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
