I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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