I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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