Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
