Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
