my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
