i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
MIDGETS
????
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
