I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
