Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
