By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
