Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
