Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You need a sexual gate keeper
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
