I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
