Midget sex pt 2 tonight
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
