Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
