dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
