i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
