3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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