Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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