I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
